it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
