Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
