We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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