ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
