Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
