Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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