So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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