do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
