Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
