We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
