I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
