Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
