fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
