Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
