Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
