What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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