just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
