Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
