so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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