i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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