So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
