you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize