We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize