do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
