eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Randomize