She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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