Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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