where does the pee come out of this thing
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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