So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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