Having a random hookup so left but love u
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need water and some morals
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
