My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
