It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
