we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize