And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
