they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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