Me. At least after what I've been through.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize