Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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