Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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