I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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