Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
