you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize