I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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