With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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