I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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