You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
