i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
