I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
