HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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