So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
