soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
