My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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