I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
