I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she peed on how many people?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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