so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
