the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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