Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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