you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize