You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize