when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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